Still uneasy

Still feeling very bad in the morning, especially when I heard managements discussing about accounting feed failure last night. Joyce kept on saying that it's no big deal at all, and I shouldn't feel regretted. She was so confident that I must still be green at work, or else I won't be feeling so bad; if it happened to her (and indeed it has happened to her before), she wouldn't waste any time got disturbed by it at all. Yaqub said I shouldn't feel ashamed for it as well, and joked that if the system was so vulnerable to my "attack", then it wouldn't be qualified to support so-called sophisticated operations. Even Simon said I should let it go, as long as I ensured that it won't be occurring again in future on month-end closing date.

All these responses loosened my strained nerves a bit, but I was still feeling uneasy. I thought I looked very terrifying, since everybody from mother to the workmate from another team sitting opposite to me asked if I was okay. For all these years I could hardly think of a mistake which I've made that was so influential. It's really the first time I got involved in any "wrong-doing", though others didn't agree.

Without good appetite, I went to walk around on the platform of City Hall. It's windy and temperature fell, but I didn't really notice. Looking at the sea and listening to breezes, I stood there pondering for some moments before going to City Hall library for day-dreaming.

If you ask me to name something which I've learnt from the new job, this would definitely be the one --- to learn from mistake.

Sigh.